Not gonna lie folks but the next few weeks are just vodka’s and whiskies from Scotland and Ireland. All summer was more interesting and seasonal things, but it’s back to doing what we likely do a bit too much of. By which I mean trying to take those large walls of vodka from your local store and tell you why 85% of it should be flat out avoided. Hey speaking of.
Here we have a vodka made out of potatoes. Now of course there are many vodka’s that do this; however this one is quite blatant about it and for the life of me I can’t think why. I mean if it was any good I could understand how it serves to educate folk that the humble potato can truly have versatile and noble goals in life. Here however I’d have much rather taken these from the factory and mashed them.
What they Say: “Spud potato vodka is an elegant vodka with a pleasant clean finish. All spud vodkas are gluten free and distilled five times for an incredible taste experience. Our signature potato vodka has subtle notes of vanilla and a velvety creaminess.”
Taste: 3.5 – That first taste is somewhere between awful and not totally terrible.
Aftertaste: 1.0 – However then it does something new. Imagine a great bourbon where the taste lingers and changes as time goes on. Imagine that but instead every part of the journey is getting hit in the crotch.
Burn/Smooth: 2.0 – This goes down as smoothly as trying to eat a raw potato whole.
Aroma: 3.0 – I realize that I would likely have taken points for smelling like a baked potato, but I would rather have that instead of shoe polish remover.
Honesty: 2.0 – Lying about being clean, subtle notes – yeah (real fucken subtle), oh and joy of joy it’s gluten free. Listen if you told me this was called spud vodka because the Irishman you robbed yelled it at you would be the only way to gain back the points you’ve lost.
Vodka Tonic: 1.0 – That is the 2nd worst vodka tonic I have had in my life.
White Russian: 4.5 – Close to passable.
Value: 1.0 – So we have a lying sack of terribleness at a non-suprime price that is intended to sell only to the consumer wishing to purchase a spirit with a potato on it. Yeah I feel like that score is accurate.
Google Shop Average: $20
Metric Score: 15.25/70 |+| Metric Average: 2.18 |+| Reviewer Average: 1.5
Final Thoughts: Well if this vodka has done any good it’s made me want to get the stats page up to date (the issue is the new site generates too much content too quickly that I haven’t had time to fix it all myself) because this might be the contender for one of the worst things we’ve reviewed. Thank god I bought this as a 2 nips because I would be downright angry had I bought a whole bottle.