Maple Breakfast Stout: 6.0 – While it might not be something you’d actually drink for breakfast it does carry that marriage of coffee and maple flavors well. The sweetness of the maple thankfully helps balance it, but the effect is a bit odd compared to other coffee beers.
Price Average: $3
Website: https://www.14thstarbrewing.com/
2020, well it’s certainly a new year despite the same old problems going on – a microcosm of this tequila if we’re honest. No part of this is truly terrible (well the price is for what you’re getting) but it is overall just – fine. The same beats told again of not having anything spectacular, burn a little too much, and then to compound the sin – basic ass mixers.
Trois Dames Winter Sour: 6.5 – The ginger and orange is certainly a factor in there, but there is so much tart sour and bitterness. A winter beer should be toasty and inviting, or conversely invigorating – this is an attack dog to your face. Sure there is a bit of spice as well here – which one could use to pass it off as a winter beer, but really this is just too powerful and in multiple ways isn’t pleasant.
Price Average: $7 draft
Website: https://www.sheltonbrothers.com
Imperial isn’t exactly the best word to use in this situation being such a common term for high proof beer. Add that to the vague branding and Sazerac being explicit and this is essentially just some off-brand scotch. This is the moment we’d love dearly to tell you it’s akin to an Ezra Brooks story, but it’s not. This isn’t good.
Oxbow Noel: 6.5 – So when the tags for ‘Oxbow’, ‘Dark Saison’, and ‘Christmas’ pop up – well it certainly piques our interest, but we’d ask you to hold back hype. Oh, of course, this is still a great beer, and we’d expect nothing less from Oxbow at this point. It feels a little porter like, and the small amount of sweet and spice here is enough to make it Christmas-y without being a heavy nutmeg/cinnamon affair. However, it’s overall just a pretty good dark saison and not a true ‘gift’ to the world.
Price Average: $8 draft
Website: https://oxbowbeer.com/
This review was for the most part on track to be just another okay budget vodka that maybe has a few bright spots with some bad. Then we got to the part where we need to assess the text on the bottle, type it out and give an overall score of honesty based on design, literature, and lies. What followed was – and we mean this completely – the worst bottle text in existence – so without further ado! FUCK. THIS. VODKA.
Contee: 3.5 – Along with Schwazbier if we asked brewers to make more of a certain style – it would be Kolsch. We say this to frame the context of this being a poor outing as a great tragedy for us. There is an orange citrus flavor here that overrides so much of the beer you can barely even tell the style, just orange + ale is all you get.
Price Average: $13 for 4-pack
Website: https://www.definitivebrewing.com/
Photo Booth: 5.5 – Grapefruit certainly is the main component here, it pervades the entire beer turning it almost into something more juice than beer. It’s not particularly tart either so that juicy aspect really is why you get this, even if it isn’t a fantastic beer.
Price Average: $3
Website: https://www.artifactbeer.com/
