Of course, not 2 weeks ago we had a bourbon that was well liked, and recommendable. So by the laws given of the universe we must balance with something from the lower shelves. And yes we pride ourselves on being the ones able to find the gold coin at the bottom of the wishing well, but let’s be honest – it’s mostly pennies. (We don’t actually do that because it’s morally wrong to take wishes, but the metaphor is strong).
Also by god the runaround trying to find out who owns this thing. The bottle says one thing which seems to have been bought by another company who’s website auto-redirects to a totally different name. (and that one we’re not even sure of) truly the obfuscation of the fact that brands are owned and made by like less than a dozen companies knows no bounds and for products not even good enough to merit a website/branding – well let’s just say they rarely taste good.
What they Say: “Old-style, individual barreled bourbon whiskey, distilled from only the finest ingredients for a genuine full-bourbon character. Aged 3 Years.”
Taste: 5.5 – You initially get some caramel delicious sweetness. For the briefest of moments you are led into the notion that this might not be so bad. Then it is.
Aftertaste: 3.0 – It closes with some smokey and heat, but overall given how the taste and burn sort of meld together you will not be thinking that this tastes ‘good’
Burn/Smooth: 0.5 – It induces the kind of pucker face where even taking a chaser of some water fails to help you. It burns, maybe not as bad as say 151, but the words smooth live about 1000 years away from this.
Aroma: 5.0 – Well that smells – appropriate for what it is. It’s not so bad, and it’s not burning the hairs on your nostril – but pleasant, complex, or unique are words one would not use to describe it.
Honesty: 5.0 – “finest ingredients” well let this be the lesson that even if you use heirloom tomatoes from your own garden you can still fuck up your sauce. “genuine full-bourbon character” that’s a loaded statement, but it’s not inherently wrong. So while yes the design is pretty basic, they don’t commit any crimes in their boasting (which we would have eviscerated them for) so overall their honestly is fairly on par, with little to help them.
Mixability: 1.0
W/ Rocks: 1.0 – If you thought a bit of ice would make this nice – think again. It is atrocious. I has not helped even in the slightest. We actually re-tested again after letting the ice meld for like 5 minutes to hopefully water this down and chill it and it’s still awful
Whiskey and Coke: 1.0 – That is objectively one of the worst Whiskey and Coke’s we’ve ever had on this site. It is horrid. It is one of those you take the rest of the can with you just to up the ratio so you can get it down sort of ordeals.
Value: 2.0 – You could pay us the amount to take it off your hands and having tried it – it’d be a decision. It’s basically asking us to take 11 bucks to give ourselves a headache, to give ourselves a shit cocktail that at best is only used when quite inebriated and the taste of things no longer matters. So yes it’d be a decision, and the answer is still no.
Google Shop Average: $11
Website: https://phillipsdistilling.com/
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 1.0
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Metric Score: 22/70 |+| Metric Average: 3.14 |+| Reviewer Average: 1.0
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Final Thoughts: It is basically regret in a bottle.
