Hello and welcome to meat reviews. This week, like every week we review bacon. Because bacon is meat, and it’s bacon. So this week we went to the liquor store. Bacon was on sale. SO we bought all of it. Then we made vodka. Then we combined them. Then a friend of ours brought us this magnificent bastard. Then the world seceded from the universe.
Why hello there, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another fine reading of our aptly named Booze Reviews. I am your writer, with kung fu grip, smoking jacket, and fez sold separately: William Henri Neve The Fourth. Right now I find myself relaxed, happy, and with a taste in my mouth that is familiar and yet – rings truer to my taste buds than its triumphant popular cousin. This week there was a sale at the local liquor store and my heart skipped a beat as Gentleman Jack was on sale and was the same price as Jack Daniels Black Label.
Gentleman this is vodka.
Wait no, wrong intro. Unfortunately it’s not Ketel One again this week. Its Skyy Vodka…no, stop! Don’t go! Tonight on booze reviews: a bear brings by some vodka and mauls some mixed drinks! Not only that, a surprise ending, Skyy vodka is actually pretty good! Oh, whoops, looks like I gave away the whole review in the tag line. I’m going somewhere with this I swear…let’s start over.
When you hear Gordon’s you think of one name, James Bond, with the famous words “Shaken, not stirred.” What most people don’t get is that James Bond’s martini’s use vodka, and shaking gin for a martini is the worst thing you could do to it. Now we’re not here this week to judge James Bond’s iconic-ly known vodka (though it’s not that great). No we are here to review Gordon’s Gin, a gin that was my (The Buffalo’s) first foray into gin. Which ended with me almost nearly being turned off to gin forever.
When I think of Ezra Brooks I’m reminded of an old saying from a wise man “Bourbon, on the rocks please.” Now while all of us at the Buffalo Lounge have had their fair share of whiskey, our tastes (Mine especially) centered on Scotch. I sampled a vast amount of different varieties of Scotch, and I had tried Jack Daniels. It wasn’t until that fateful day though, when I was given just a small 375mL of Ezra that I thought the Americans could make a whiskey.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the man called Justice and this week the Booze Reviews Crew is bringing you a particularly special treat. Its been a long time coming, but today we bring you Chivas Regal 18 year blended scotch whiskey. Before you ask, yes this is a liquor that deserves to have its full name used. Now I am a lover of high grade scotches, and though I can’t claim to have tried as many as the Buffalo, I have sampled a fairly robust number of scotches. That being said, there are few blended scotches which have tried which rival the flavor of this one. Off the top of my head only Johnny Walker Blue Label is a scotch I’ve tried better than this one (though that really isn’t a fair example).
While Ketel One isn’t our favorite spirit, not even our favorite vodka we have used more Ketel One in the Buffalo Lounge than any other liquor. Ketel One is our go-to drink for its wide use in Russian, screwdrivers, and tons of other mixed drinks, without sacrificing quality in the least. It is the standard we judge all vodka’s on, namely if you’re not better of comparable than we don’t want to deal with you. This has since changed with Three Olives much ore competitive price, but Ketel One is a good barometer for vodka.
Tonight is a new contender for the Buffalo Lounge’s official vodka that we discovered at PAX East. Normally you don’t think vodka when someone mentions Great Britain, you think of gin; however to make a great gin you must first make good vodka, and then of course do some things with juniper and citrus, but this is about Vodka.
Hello there, you wonderful booze reviews reader, you. This week, your review is brought to you by I, the argyle clad Swetta Vest, the sole provider of class and upscale gentlemanly behaviors for booze reviews. I know it may seem uncharacteristic for someone with as much argyle as myself to review a drink like this, but I have not always been so upscale. In my sordid past, I have frequently turned to the likes of Bacardi 151° (which received a metric score of 5.46 in an earlier review) when I would “get my drunk on.” It was only later that I discovered this wonderful and powerful elixir!
Odelay, mi raza! We here at Booze Reviews have again gone to the Mexican well and when we pulled the proverbial bucket up it was filled with tequila! This is the third of our silver tequila standoff (of course it is a Mexican standoff) and this one is packing heat! In the words of a man I never knew that got drunk off a small amount of this stuff we reviewed.
