Well folks let’s close out the year in the traditional style – by which we mean another on the list of cheap vodkas that are cheap for a reason. The reason being that they suck. This generic entry is Copper Plate vodka which makes you think there might be some electrolyzing or other shit going on to make it perfect – they themselves assure you that it is flawless. Well we here at Honest Booze Reviews are here to tell you the truth, and we’re not even gonna hide it behind the fold – this vodka sucks shit.
Okay sure yes – there are SOME ways you can make this work okay for you. I’m sure some young college student or a mom making punch for the holidays could throw this and who cares how it tastes amidst all the other flavors. However we’re not here to make jungle juice, we are here to review and the review as you’ll see below is not kind.
What they Say: “Bottle Front: 6X Distilled. Gluten Free. Rest assured, this vodka is flawless.
Bottle Back: Copperplate vodka is only made from the finest American corn grown in the midwest and uses real spring water. The result is a vodka with a crisp flavor followed by a smooth refreshing finish. Distilled from grain.”
Taste: 3.0 – It’s relatively fine to start, carrying some of that metallic taste with a bit of sugar. However it’s mostly just cheap vodka leading into the aftertaste where that carries on.
Aftertaste: 1.0 – It’s corn based so there’s no wheat or creaminess to speak of – just alcohol. It’s not clean tasting either so strap in for that.
Burn/Smooth: 3.0 – Well that burns. Much like the aroma it could be far worse – but you are certainly going to make a wincing face.
Aroma: 4.0 – Certainly an ethanol flavor with little else aside from a slight almost metallic smell. It’s not as horrible as it could be, but then it’s not good either.
Honesty: 0.0 – “Rest assured, this vodka is flawless.” – We don’t typically like giving out 0’s for honesty, especially as it’s a bit catch-all with things like design, presentation, and text. This however being on the bottle is a step too far and can’t be ignored. To try and assauge people’s fears and to call this flawless is a lie. It’s a bold faced lie, and *checks notes* yeah that’s not what this site is about.
Mixability: 4.25
W/ Rocks: 3.0 – It surprisingly does actually manage to improve things which is a welcome sign for the following cocktails. Still awful.
Screwdriver: 5.5 – There are worse screwdrivers out there, and despite some real bad aspects mercifully the combo of ice and orange juice is enough to hide the vodka – for the most part.
Vodka Tonic: 3.5 – However it would seem the tonic water isn’t as strong as the OJ because you still get that vodka here and it’s not pleasant.
White Russian: 5.0 – The coffee liqueur and cream are also strong enough to drown out the vodka.
Value: 3.5 – See the problem is that there are also comparably shitty vodkas at this low of a price, most of them are close to the $13 dollars, given a premium of 2 extra bucks you’d expect it to suck like 13% less, but no. It may be worse than most of the candidates.
Google Shop Average: $15
Website: Sadly another ghost vodka
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 1.5
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Metric Score: 18.75/70 |+| Metric Average: 2.68 |+| Reviewer Average: 1.5
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Final Thoughts: There’s a reason there’s no website, or identifiable brand when you search for this and instead only find nearby stores and delivery services – because it’s not made to be good, it’s not made to be a brand. It’s made to make people drunk, sell by the handle, and be entirely forgettable. The worst part is – it’s not even cheap enough to justify getting one of a dozen other vodkas.
