We realize that it’s rare a spirit can be spooky (phrasing?), and as such, this really should be saved for the Halloween posting, but it’s April 1st so this is a joke? Either way, this rum is a bit of a terror. It says little, has a creepy vibe, and it’s strong enough to make your clothes fall off to the point where you become a slutty fortnite player? (We don’t do costume parties). It does, however, have some good bits to it.
Before we begin properly we would like to stress that we made extra sure that the cocktails were re-reviewed so as to not be thrown off by the power of the rum, and that said scores are accurate and not the result of being too drunk to care from the tasting round. We are of course professionals writing this for no money – wait.
What they Say: [None]
Taste: 5.5 – You get an almost citrus and weirdly grass/Zubrowka style vodka taste to go alongside the rum. For a few brief moments like jumping across a cliff, you think it could be fine.
Aftertaste: 0.5 – That is replaced by what is just pure way too strong rum and alcohol ‘flavor’ it’s horrible.
Burn/Smooth: 0.0 – That doesn’t have lingering warming, it has a lingering BURNING. Oh, don’t misjudge this will kick you in the teeth at first brush as well, just that your teeth are now tearing up your throat so it can burn as well. Hence the low score.
Aroma: 7.5 – This smells nearly like tequila or a cachaca, but it thankfully does not smell like an overproofed nightmare about to destroy you. It smells sweet and also like something nearly citrus – which is great for a rum.
Honesty: 9.5 – The logo has a man with a sword. The name is Widows Walk. It’s an overproof rum that comes in a liter bottle only from what we can tell. The image is on brand a bit spooky. They themselves, have nothing more to say to you. Because what else should they add, this is like buying a poisonous spider and wondering why you’re foaming at the mouth – it is without frivolity – honest.
Mixability: 8.0
Rum and Coke: 8.0 – Now, you do need to adjust the ratios here in order to have a good time, but not by much. Once you do though, grab that lime because this thing deserves it – it’s tasty, powerful, but not ruining the cola at all. It’s been a long time since an R&C was celebrated here, but now we’re found.
Mojito: 8.0 – The rum here adds just the right amount of kick – again you need to adjust ratios to make this ‘right’, but once you do what you’ve created can only be described as dangerous. Like, wow that’s pretty tasty and a way to consume far too much rum.
Value: 6.0 – We do have to consider that this is 25% more than typical. While we found ours for cheaper ($30) this is the average across some stores. Now, this is not by ANY means a rum you shoot unless you are 21 and thick headed. However by some clever manipulation of ratios, you can make some delightful cocktails that are sure to get you drunk very quickly so you don’t need to use as much rum, or you end up using all of it – we’ve forgotten which. As such while this seems costly we have to give it budget value.
Google Shop Average: $39
Website: http://newportcraft.com/
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 6.5
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Metric Score: 37/70 |+| Metric Average: 5.29 |+| Reviewer Average: 6.5
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Final Thoughts: Again we love a rum that says so little on the bottle and so much in the glass, (and kicks our ass) Widow’s Walk is what you should reach for over that swill of Everclear because it can achieve the same heights and NOT be awful. Sure if you had it straight it burns like Satan’s ass and leaves a lingering taste like lighter fluid, but this is at least lighter fluid you can mix with cola.
