Let’s start off by saying we’re glad that the small distilling and craft distilling businesses are taking off, and recognize that Portland with its craft brewing/distilling should be commended for their efforts. Let’s now move onto the matter at hand which is this garbage gin.
When a bottle list ingredients and awards it sounds suspiciously like you are trying to overcompensate for being shit, and that’s certainly the approach taken here. Everything about this is a hot mess. The weird patchwork glass frosting mixed with a screw cap and no thank you please.
What they Say: “Bottle Front: Juniper, Coriander, Angelica, Cardamom, Grains of Paradise, Cubeb Berry, Orns Root, Lemon Zest, Orange Zest, Cassia Bark.
Bottle-Back: Aria Portland Dry Gin is a classic English style gin. Full-bodied and aromatic, Aria is handmade and batch distilled for depth, complexity, and balance.
- Double Gold Medal – 2014 (San Francisco World Spirits Competition)
- Gold Medal – 2015 (American Craft Spirits Association)
- Gold, 93 Points, Exceptional – 2014 (Beverage Testing Institute of Chicago)
- Double Gold Medal -2015 (The Fifty Best)
- Gold Medal – 2014 (American Craft Distillery Association)
- Gold Medal – 2013 (American Distilling Institute)”
Taste: 1.0 – We’ll decide to split this into a longer taste (as it’s all the same) and make aftertaste the lasting lingering effects. That out of the way: UCK. Sure you get a bit of juniper and botanicals, but ugh that tastes so bad.
Aftertaste: 4.5 – That’s actually nicer, and you get various exchanges of juniper, fruit, and spices. Not enough though and it’s really just a whiff.
Burn/Smooth: 2.0 – It burns, and there isn’t a reality where this is considered ‘smooth’
Aroma: 3.5 – The actual smells here are on point; however there is a deeper issue. That being your nose hairs are practically singed off by the lingering burning sensation of this smell.
Honesty: 2.5 – Look at that text above and tell me what you see. We see a good starting list of people or places to not trust with anything let alone objective spirit reviews. Doesn’t matter if it’s paid or just politics – fuck your awards, and fuck you. Add everything else up and your left with a smattering of points.
Mixability: 2.5
Martini: 1.0 – Nope. Nope. Still real bad. Maybe worse.
Tonic: 4.0 – It’s not terrible, and you get some of that lingering aftertaste. Objectively though – no.
Value: 2.5 – You would be downright stupid to pay that much for this having read this far into a much more objective review then some double gold medal bullshit folks.
Google Shop Average: $26
Website: http://www.ariagin.com/
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 2.0
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Metric Score: 18.5/70 |+| Metric Average: 2.64 |+| Reviewer Average: 2.0
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Final Thoughts: This gin really reminds us of Effen Vodka. Someone somewhere thought the series of decisions they made going into it were very good ones, but they just happen to be dead wrong. Under no circumstances should you ever buy this.
