British Navy Pusser’s Rum 750mL

This rum sucks ass. We want to be as clear and upfront about this as possible. We want the damn Google search results to include this first bit of text about how much ass this rum sucks. Do not buy this unless you want a headache, or because you’re a Royal Navy sailor and England is forcing this upon you and calling it a ration.

There are a few people that during things like college and 20’s got wildly drunk, and sometimes on rum. This leads them to an effect where smelling anything of a certain type of spirit will make them swear off drinking before they’ve even begun. This rum is that idea personified. We actually enjoy rum here, and even sometimes the candier ones too (kept it balanced though), so when we disparage this rum – know it is not from such an affectation – it’s because this rum makes you vomit.

 

What they Say: “From 1655 until July 31, 1970 – better known as “Black Tot” Day, Royal Navy sailors were issued a daily ration of Pusser’s Rum. This award winning Rum from Trinidad & Guyana is influenced by century’s old wooden pot stills and continues to be crafted in accordance with The Admiralty Specification. The sailors called it “Nelson’s Blood,” we call it Liquid History.”

 

Taste: 2.0 – It is cloyingly sickeningly sweet, but not in a happy way, more in an ‘ugh gross’ kinda way.

Aftertaste: 2.0 – And the aftertaste only takes this into an almost candied stage – this is likely best as a rum cake. But tastes like wrecking ball to your taste buds.

Burn/Smooth: 4.0 – That isn’t ‘fire in the hole’ burning – but it does burn.

Aroma: 1.0 – That smells like you vomiting several hours later. (By which we mean it is foul and sweet and full of regret) It is disgustingly candied and sweet and boozy without being full-on of either making it a minefield to the senses.

Honesty: 5.5 – Liquid History? More like a liquid headache. Honestly, a daily ration of this would be torture. We’d rather have a rum that burns out stomaches out rather than this which only makes them empty. We can’t dock points for the look and feel, or the heritage, but fuck man.

Mixability: 2.5

W/ Rocks: 1.5 – Ice will not save you. It will merely make what is there harsher and colder.

Rum and Coke: 3.5 – Okay, sure. We guess that’s the ideal outcome (never use Pepsi), but fuck that still tastes like liquid diabetes and a hangover. We literally cracked open a bottle of Private Stock just to remind us we don’t hate rum.

Value: 2.0 – Nope. That cost is almost as obscene as this tastes. We paid for this and it’s a whole 25 American Dollars of regrets.

Google Shop Average: $25

Website: http://pussersrum.com/

 

Reviewer Scores:

BuffaloJern: 0.5

Want to compare this spirit against our archives? Visit our statistics page.

Metric Score: 19/70 |+| Metric Average: 2.71 |+| Reviewer Average: 0.5

New to Honest Booze Reviews, or just wondering how we score? See our FAQ/Review Policy.

 

Final Thoughts: This is not the worst thing that’s ever been reviewed on this site, but boy fucken howdy is it close in the runnings. At this point, the bottle merely sits in the bar – mockingly. Perhaps it could be used in a ham or a cake or dear god anything with flavor. As for the final thought/word on this rum: ugh.