“If anything is going to make me into an alcoholic it’s Private Stock.” ~ DJ_Lvl.
Yes readers and boozers of Honest Booze Reviews this week we sample a rum that is so good it induces alcoholism. Now I, Buffalo Jern, am a huge fan of Sailor Jerry’s which was the previous rum we had sampled. I was alone in this respect, but all of us agree that the Captain’s Private Stock is superb.
Mostly when you enter the realm of spiced rum you come looking for two things. 1. A kick of booze to inform you that yes what you are drinking isn’t some lame 80 proof booze and that your drinks can and may ignite without warning. 2. The ability to take said things and throw it in coke to forget that these alcohols kick. Very rarely would you catch me drinking Sailor Jerry’s or Goslings straight up or on rocks; it can happen but the experience is rare. I leave my rocks drinks to the whiskeys and Tanguerary Rangpur, but no longer.
Normally with spiced rum you get the effect that William calls “Always smells better than it tastes.” That for the most part we’ve always encountered. Spiced rum is known for smelling fantastic but never tasting as smooth and as good as Private Stock does. I myself am not a fan of Morgan’s regular of 100 proof preferring Jerry’s over both. Private Stock reminds me that yes there is a reason you should spend more than $20 on rum.
Enough of me talking though let’s see what our Captain has to say for himself.
What they say: “A tribute of over 300 years of rum making tradition. This celebrated treasure has been crafted in honor of the Captain’s legendary private reserves. A unique combination of the finest Puerto Rican rum mellowed by warm island spices, this exceptionally smooth sipping rum offers an extraordinary taste to savor.”
Normally we consider these claims as a bit boasting, and that the drink always speaks louder than any words about it; however here it just comes off as a man filthy rich and famous subtly reminding the world that is in fact just that. Well then onto some metrics about how this rum fares.
Taste: 9.1 – Most rums smell better than they taste, this tastes better than it smells. It goes down smooth and tastes like a rich yet mellow collection of spices.
Aftertaste: 8.6 – Fucking delicious spiced rum. All of us agree that it caresses your taste testicles.
Burn/Smooth: 7.9 – Just a rum taste burn, no real burn at all. Really smooth but there’s no long afterburn which some of us really enjoy in some rums.
Aroma: 7.125 – Smells good, a little too harsh. Justice + Swettah Vest: “My nose wants to stick it’s dick in this.”
Manliness: 8.5 – No faff, no serious wanking. The bottle and cork is pretty fantastic. Don’t like the Capt. Morgan repeating on the bottle.
Dark & Stormy: 8.5
Rum & Coke: 8
Rum on the Rocks: 9.3
Google Shop Results: $25
William Henri Neve the IV: 9
Swetta Vest: 8
Metric Score: 58.025/70 |+| Metric Average: 8.28 |+| Reviewer Average: 8.6
This rum… god my oh! Justice hated rums after sophomore year, but this rum rekindled the enjoyment for rum. Just a damn good rum. When Swettah Vest is a papa, this is the rum he turns too when his daughter sleeps with someone. Just awesome, big fan, the fact that you can drink it straight unlike most spiced rum is reason enough to buy this.
Editor’s Note: Excluding the smuggled Russian Vodka (which you can’t get, and was a special review) this is the highest we’ve ever seen a spirit yet. Now remember grades for each liquor are generally calculated against others of the same type. So while this earns a high grade for being the best of the rums doesn’t mean it’s better than a scotch at 7.5. What it does mean though is that if you want a damn good rum than Private Stock is where it’s at.
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