This review was for the most part on track to be just another okay budget vodka that maybe has a few bright spots with some bad. Then we got to the part where we need to assess the text on the bottle, type it out and give an overall score of honesty based on design, literature, and lies. What followed was – and we mean this completely – the worst bottle text in existence – so without further ado! FUCK. THIS. VODKA.
Honestly, we were pissed before we read it, as it’s in tiny script cursive on the side of the bottle so it kept rolling w/o support. Then we started to get into the text and what it says WHICH IS HORSESHIT NOTHING. Honestly, it might as well have said ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ in the same damn font and we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Listen we’ve had people ‘wank’ off about themselves in bottle text and yeah – we hate it, but we GET it. This though? This might as well be some off-beat poem and it doesn’t belong here, or THEIR GORRAM WEBSITE.
What they Say: “We were born with the fiercely independent mentality of the west; the nerve to not rely on maps. Driven by the internal compass instilled in us; to lead others on the never ending march of what’s around the next bend. Knowing everything is earned, finding our own way is the reward. Toast the western sunset tonight, wind down and appreciate the inherited will within you to patiently take on task at a time. Sleep well. Tomorrow you will wake to the same sun, look out onto brand new territory and take the next step toward finding it.
Make a Path. Leave your mark.
WESTERNSONVODKA.COM”
Taste: 5.0 – It seems more like a grain vodka (it’s corn), but the overall taste is okay.
Aftertaste: 5.0 – You get more of that grain like flavor, but the real issue here is that burn.
Burn/Smooth: 1.5 – Not very smooth, but a unique kind of burn that’s dull but long. It sort of makes the whole experience worse though, like a sharp knife that last 0.2 seconds is preferable.
Aroma: 6.0 – It’s not doing anything to win brownie points, but it is slightly challenging to get something from this. Oh sure dig deep and there’s the classic nail polish remover, but it’s at arm’s length instead of being present from the glass.
Honesty: 0.0 – We might have mentioned this. But suffice to say – you get 0 points.
Mixability: 5.5
White Russian: 7.5 – Minus that burn it adds a certain sort of bite/burst of flavor beyond a typical russian and is actually quite good (fully smoothed out here).
Vodka Tonic: 3.5 – So this one still has the vodka shine through, but here, in competing with the tonic it doesn’t work and isn’t a nice experience.
Value: 7.0 – It makes a damn good russian, fails at the tonic, but is dirt cheap. So as is customary if it serves a function well and is cheap – that makes it a good value.
Google Shop Average: $13
Website: https://westernsondistillery.com/
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 3.0
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Metric Score: 30/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.28 |+| Reviewer Average: 3.0
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Final Thoughts: It’s been a while since something has drawn so much ire, despite overall having a decent product. In short if they had said nothing – just nothing – they’d be in the realm of 5’s instead of 4’s. Sadly that burn is an annoyance, but that bilgewater trash of a label text in cursive (and no oxford comma) can fuck right off. Your text should tell us what we are getting into – and the answer here is a very distinct mixing vodka at an affordable price not some ‘Make a path’ cornshitbread.
It is horrible vodka and quit distributing it to the bars you guys are going to be bankrupt in 2 years because no one’s going to pay the bar for this crappy vodka
It’s fine, get over yourselves.
Its a cheap vodka, honestly if you want to get drunk, buy this and you’ll forget about any gripes you have with it. 10/10 for shots. Shots are all I care about for this specific vodka.
Wow. So the sideways, cursive, admittedly vague script with no Oxford comma on the side of a bottle of decent and modestly priced vodka got your ire in a bunch?
Glad I tried it before I read your review.
P.S. I’ve enjoyed/endured many a vodka with burn, and this was not one of them.
There is nothing wrong with this vodka except it has a flavor, less than but, like Tito’s which is awful. I’m going back to Smirnov. I wish Smirnov 1.75s were in glass.
I’ve just tried it for the first time. It’s not got any kind of burn to my palate. It’s a smooth, low cost vodka. I was pleasantly surprised by it.
Its a bad tasting, cheap vodka that has a similarity to Skol. Not a fan of it.