Vladivar – baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more. (Not apologizing for that joke because it was awesome). We said that there would be more gin on this UK trip and trust me there will be a month of gin reviews. Before we dive into that though we needed to talk about this vodka. It was a random buy for a vodka sauce (no seriously) which explains why it looks like a cheap random old USSR country vodka.
Oh-boy. It’s been a while since we last had a truly terrible no-good piece-o-shit vodka review. Yes folks we once again won’t even give this quarter before the fold, because if you Google this vodka we want our site to instantly tell you what you have gotten yourself into – or hopefully avoid such a fate.
We have a theory. To preface there is an exception in the Johnnie Walker name, but otherwise it hold’s true. If a scotch is named after a person and not a place, it’s a worse scotch. We see this with things like Grant’s, Justerini & Brook’s, and now Bell’s. We attribute this to what we call ‘the just because an old man got people to buy something doesn’t make it good.’ The world is full of con men, and sometimes they make spirits.
Nobody expects the Spanish Ginquisition! (We deeply apologize for the groaning sound you just made). Anyway while here in the UK it felt appropriate to partake of the spirit for which England is known for. However getting a London gin was too on the nose so we went to Spain. What we found was overpriced, a little hot, and overall disappointing. So Spain. (We deeply apologize to the Spanish people)
Continuing our foray on the British Isles we have a low-tier blended scotch. Because London is expensive dammit, and if we risk purchasing a good scotch we’ll make sure it’s good first. (by checking our handy-dandy website). While this might not win any height competitions with it’s shelf position, it’s actually quite nice.
Greetings Comrade! It has been over 6 years since we reviewed the Platinum version of Russian Standard. It was actually our second review on this site. We’ve come a long way since then, but in the backs of our minds we were still always annoyed at the vodka claiming to be filtered by silver, because chemistry doesn’t work that way you ninnies.
There is a certain kind of irony of saying “rare” on your bottle, despite being one of the most well-known and prolifically sold whiskies in existence. It’s kind of the beanie baby situation, except it might be preferable to take a beanie babies innards and distill that into a spirit. If that’s not a large enough spoiler before the the fold – here goes.
Our first proper Mezcal review! Mezcal is something HBR has had occasionally usually at a restaurant or bar, but we’ve never actually gotten together and sat down to actually reviewing a bottle. Overall Mezcal is made the same way as tequila, and like champagne Tequila merely signifies a region in which it’s made. This region however is so prolific that it’s de-factor standard, and too a certain degree Mezcal’s are often looked down upon as an inferior product.
First off we typically have 750mL to the point where writing it is habit, and occasionally we get a 1L thrown in. This week (and truly the next few months) will come from Britain so expect some off the wall numbering and selections as we explore spirits that aren’t casual fare in the states. (Gotta support those worldwide readers of this global site)
Moving on from the uptick of the caliente reposado we head back downhill with an anejo that is really a subpar tequila, but as an anejo is kind of worse? This lacks that critical element of the passion of tequila mellowed through age to become something woody, filled with spice, and smooth as hell.
