If you are looking for vodka that works well in a creamy white Russian- this is a good vodka. If that’s all you want or need to know, best to stop here and leave. This vodka has a series of various faults, but we are honour bound to speak truth to its capabilities.
We’ll get into this rather quickly because this is probably the longest note on Honesty that we’ve ever had – which knowing our critical eye is not a good thing. Before that though let’s see what they have to say for themselves.
What they Say: “At the top of the world stand an ancient distillery. From the clear springs of the Himalayas, a singularly smooth and crisp spirit is produced. Everest.”
Taste: 7.0 – That is much creamier a taste than expected. It’s actually very nice and makes you excited for how this will fair in a Russian.
Aftertaste: 5.5 – That aftertaste though sets you back to more of a cheap vodka.
Burn/Smooth: 6.0 – There is a little amount of burn here, but it’s carried through by the creaminess of the vodka.
Aroma: 7.0 – It has a bit of cream and not much harshness. While it’s not foul by any means it’s clearly the smell of a vodka – just not painful.
Honesty: 0.0 – At the core of this there lies a problem. This is a product of India (but export only), the waters are sourced from the mountains of the Himalayas. The problem is that ancient distillery. When you combine the weird flavours they also make, starting in 2015 by 4 Massachusettes founders, and that there seems to be no mention of the actual placement of the distillery you sort of becoming disillusioned. Maybe it’s far away and therefore not impressive, but here’s the thing. If you’re not actually distilling this in the Himalayas – own it. Say you bring the water from there because it’s the purest, say that you combine modern techniques with ancient traditions, don’t make a smokescreen. Please feel free to contact us and show us the truth – but until then that 0 stands. It pains us as fellow MA folks (mostly), but as far as we can tell this is a cheap lie.
Mixability: 6.25
Vodka Tonic: 3.5 – That’s okay. It’s just not the right kind of vodka for this, and it feels wrong.
White Russian: 9.0 – Listen. There’s a lot here to be angry at, but we have to set that aside. Because that is a god-damn-fucking-fantastic Russian. If it wasn’t the special secret vodka it’d be even higher, but fuck dude. Fuck the everestshit, the weird branding, just roll up, lay it on the table and say – yo taste this mofo Russian.
Value: 6.0 – The overall value of buying some stuff that claims to be like Batman training in Nanda Parbat, when really they just export some snow is tough. But fuck us running if I’m buying a vodka for my Lebowski-induced party and I want it cheap – here you go.
Google Shop Average: $21
Website: https://everestvodka.com/
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 5.0
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Metric Score: 37.75/70 |+| Metric Average: 5.39 |+| Reviewer Average: 5.0
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Final Thoughts: This was a difficult decision for a reviewer score. On the one hand, it’s fairly priced and makes a good (but singularly good) cocktail. The other problem is as you’ve likely garnered this is the epitome of what’s wrong with the truth and lies in this industry. A 5 feels like a compromise, but in short, it’s the balance of an objectively good aspect, and the subjective nonsense of its existence.
