Maybe it’s seasonal depression given this review is happening mid-Jan, but this vodka just evokes a mindset that makes you sort of want to hate it. It’s got this naming and imagery that seems more at place on a rum, and yet we can’t deny – it’s actually an all around above average vodka.
Oh, sure we’re not going to make the claims the various awards and such have done on the fricken bottle no less – but aside from this having a cheap vodka burn when straight – it’s quite good. It’s not bad tasting, mixes well, and doesn’t break the bank – which is basically all this website ever wants.
What they Say: “Monkey in Paradise has consistently received top honors in the industry’s most respected competitions. Crafted in Florida, from only the highest-grade American corn. Distilled seven times in copper stills, and then refined through an advanced vapor filtering process to reduce sulfites naturally, the rest is a best-in-class vodka with a pure, clean flavor profile.
Life is what you drink from it.”
Taste: 6.0 – It starts a bit creamy and grain – almost reminds you of a subtle gin with its flavor as it seems a little botanical.
Aftertaste: 4.0 – The aftertaste continues the creamy vodka flavor, but is marred by that burn in a way that impacts the flavor.
Burn/Smooth: 3.0 – You can distilled stuff 7 times, you can vapor filter, but that doesn’t mean you have made it smooth. This burns, not terribly, but the burn sort of lingers for a long time and it’s not great.
Aroma: 6.5 – It is not odorless, nor is it particularly creamy. It certainly smells of a distilled spirit, but it’s not the awful nail polish removed awful smell you smell. This is what we’d say the ideal baseline for vodka should be, but by nature of it not being the actual baseline they gain some points.
Honesty: 5.0 – Of course points are removed for the usage of awards on the bottle (we didn’t type them out), as well as saying carb/gluten/sugar-free on fucken vodka. The design is nice though, and you get a couple of monkeys which is always fun. In the end, it cancels out to just basic despite the bias against ‘paradise’.
Mixability: 6.75
Vodka Tonic: 6.0 – Any offness from the burn is offset, but it does little to basically nothing for the cocktail beyond blending and disappearing into the tonic.
White Russian: 7.5 – Okay that bit of cream in the taste does add to the drink (thankfully) so this my nature is where you will actually be a monkey in paradise because this is the best way to consume this. (Likely not true, we’re sure some tropical concoction would be better but we don’t have that in our review roster)
Value: 6.0 – That is actually on the milder side with regards to pricing, and because this mixes and comes with toys we’re willing to give it a few points for value.
Google Shop Average: $16
Website: https://monkeyinparadise.com/
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 6.5
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Metric Score: 37.25/70 |+| Metric Average: 5.32 |+| Reviewer Average: 6.5
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Final Thoughts: This would normally be the bit where we’d say despite its above-average showing, this is something we’re likely to forget, and never think of or buy again. Unfortunately, it came with those tiny blue monkeys and it turns out cats really like messing with that little toy. In all seriousness, though this is something that if you’re going to some sort of party – bring it along. It will make you stand out, and people will inevitably be curious – just make sure you’re going for that style.
Someone said it was a smooth vodka…
You must have had a bad batch because what we’ve had has been nothing but smooth!! So much so we drink it straight on the rocks! Sorry but you must have a bad taster!!!