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Eristoff Premium Vodka 1L

This looks like just another random vodka, akin to a Smirnoff, like a knockoff. Although one does have to ask oneself – if Smirnoff is so bad – what would an (alleged) knockoff be like? In short slightly better and cheaper – wait.

This certainly isn’t good, not by any real means, but by the numbers – it does edge out a win. The problem is that winning against Smirnoff is like winning against a child – sure you beat them, but like of course you did you child beater. Anyway this metaphor got away from us – this vodka is overall just subpar, but at least it’s fitting to the price.

 

What they Say: “Triple Distilled | 100% Pure Grain”

 

Taste: 6.0 – There’s actually a decent amount of grain ‘flavor’ here. At first blush, it’s actually totally fine.

Aftertaste: 2.0 – Here though it’s very much cleaner and charcoal, making it less than fine – or in a word – bad.

Burn/Smooth: 2.5 – Nope. No sorry. Nadda. It ain’t smooth folks.

Aroma: 3.5 – Okay, yes that does smell like a vodka that will likely cause damage to you as a person. It thankfully won’t be too much, but it basically smells like cheap vodka – because it is…

Honesty: 6.0 – Well they don’t say much. They have a howling wolf which is kinda meme worthy, and the look is about as basic as you get. They don’t certainly earn many points here, but then again – none are lost.

Mixability: 4.0

Vodka Tonic: 4.5 – About what you’d expect from a cheap ‘ugh I can still taste the vodka’ tonic mixer.

White Russian: 3.5 – It sadly does not go quietly into that dark coffee liqueur. You can certainly tell this is a cheap vodka despite the Kamora and cream.

Value: 4.0 – We know we said this is cheaper and therefore a better value than Smirnoff – but then again you can often get singles or handles of New Amsterdam and Three Olives for about the same as this, so just go do that.

Google Shop Average: $13

Website: https://www.eristoff.com/

 

Reviewer Scores:

BuffaloJern: 3.0

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Metric Score: 28/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.0 |+| Reviewer Average: 3.0

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Final Thoughts: Yes, yes we know we’ve gone on about how this objectively is better than some other shitty vodka, but it’s still a shitty vodka, and as such gets a lower score in our minds. We will continue to scrape the bottom of the shelf and try to find the spirits that are dirt cheap, but you wouldn’t know it – but that does mean suffering through a lot of pain and headaches.

BuffaloJern

I am the Buffalo editor and curator of Honest Booze Reviews

One thought to “Eristoff Premium Vodka 1L”

  1. What said here about Eristoff is correct – but for the price, I think it is a decent and pleasurable Vodka alternative.
    for any Vodka why would you pay 50, 60 or $70 ?
    Take that Johnny Rotten

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