Alright that’s enough scotches for a while, what’s next on our plate? Crap. Well folks I’m writing this intro prior to trying, so let’s see how this goes.
Having completed the review (numbers below) – I think this says more to how we force ourselves to break down each category objectively and try and rate against others. If asked I would likely have given this a far lower score – and I expect those who know us would think with our harsh rating system this would be far lower.
The problem is that we know (sadly) that there are not only worse vodka’s we’ve tried, but worse possibly even then what we have not tried. This is certainly below average on nearly all accounts, but just as we don’t give out 10’s easily, we don’t give out 0’s either.
What they Say: “Smirnoff No. 21 is the world’s No. 1 vodka. Its classic taste has inspired other varieties throughout all four corners of the globe.”
Taste: 5.0 – At first it’s actually not that bad at all. Pretty average all things considered.
Aftertaste: 4.0 – Here it’s slightly worse, but it’s not terrible.
Burn/Smooth: 2.0 – And this is where we give it a 2, because while it’s certainly not burning like as bad as Bacardi 151, this is not smooth.
Aroma: 3.0 – It smells like shoe polish, but at least it’s not bad shoe polish?
Honesty: 1.0 – The only people I know who buy Smirnoff normally are not the kind of people who care about anything. Let me be clear, we do not say this as ‘snobs’. Drink bad vodka if you want, drink the stuff that costs 7 bucks and kills insects by smell alone. But don’t just buy Smirnoff like everyone else. It’s not good, it’s not cheap, it’s just commonly known, and even others commonly known are better. Also that literature above – fuck you.
Vodka Tonic: 5.0 – Fairly standard for a bar’s vodka tonic (I wonder why)
White Russian: 2.0 – I am not a fan of that Russian.
Google Shop Average: $15
Metric Score: 21.5/70 |+| Metric Average: 3.07 |+| Reviewer Average: 3.0
Final Thoughts: Maybe we should go back to more scotch…