They often say one should not judge a book by it’s cover. This is usually meant to imply that something that looks vain or vapid could be deeply rewarding and complex on the inside. The parallel here is that this looks like a cheap, spiced rum that may smell nice – but would kill a small hamster in a coughing fit from the burn itself. Instead though we get something that might as well have a Willy Wonka stamp on the side.
Honestly I know I will harp on about the sweetness – but it’s so intoxicating to this spirit. Literally in the sense that what should be toxic is the alcohol, but in this case it’s the sugar. I feel like this was made from a batch that was meant to be a higher proof (needing more sugar to make the alcohol), but instead of just watering it down at the end, they just said screw it and made it anyway.
What they Say: “Black Roberts was the most successful raider in the history of piracy; he was cool and brave as he was ruthless. The secret of his success was patience and tactical flair. It is with this same patience that we created Black Roberts Spiced Rum, a smooth rum that blends the best Caribbean spices. Cinnamon, vanilla and nutmeg combine to create a smooth rum that boasts caramel aromas, perfect on the rocks or with your favorite mixed drink.”
Taste: 3.0 – I have diabetes now.
Aftertaste: 3.5 – The sugar concoction continues here, and while there’s a bit of a spiced rum taste – almost all that you get might was well be sugar syrup.
Burn/Smooth: 8.0 – Well like my nanny used to say “drink the NyQuil or I get my belt.” – right sorry I was thinking of Mary Poppins with ‘a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.’ because this glides down your throat like sweet tea with too much sugar. No warmth though.
Aroma: 6.5 – That smells like what I wish ice cream smelled like. A little boozy, caramel and vanilla and just sugary sweet. I do wish it had some boldness too it though aside from the booze.
Honesty: 3.0 – ARR the most ruthless and brave pirate in all of time – let us honor him with something so sweet it could pass for a Hello Kitty commercial. Honestly guys if this just tasted like boot polish the honesty would be top tier. But you can’t have a pirate tale when it’s covered on cotton candy.
W/ Rocks: 2.0 – That has removed any rum taste, and now it’s cold. So I mean if you are looking for a dessert, than this is okay. I am not.
Rum and Coke: 3.5 – I have no made sugary cola. I would not mix this with Pepsi if you are looking to avoid double diabetes. While I am sure this is a mixed drink where you can use this rum (and avoid simple syrup) – we still have to judge on a baseline.
Value: 4.0 – I mean alternatively you could get some caramel and dump it into a cheaper rum, but $10 is still quite cheap. Still not a great deal though.
Google Shop Average: $10
Metric Score: 30.75/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.39 |+| Reviewer Average: 3.0
Final Thoughts: I’m back now from my UK travels, and this was one of the first things I’ve had back in the states (since there needed to be reviews going up on the site). I have to say though that maybe things like The Claymore aren’t so bad after all. Because while it may be downright awful, at least it’s not like being stabbed in the heart with rock candy.