This has been a long time coming, and it’s clear to see why. Despite the pair of reviews being one of the most viewed and talked about things on this site – we are not fans of E&J based on their lackluster XO, and their dismal VSOP. However those familiar with their brandy/cognac tiers know that there is a step younger (worse?) than VSOP – the VS. We said we would start getting more brandy and cognac – and that brings us to today.
Now for those of you wondering – hey maybe both brandies they had were bad batches (in which case srsly?), and that somehow by being a less mellow spirit this would somehow soar in scores, and prove that E&J are actually a good brandy company – well sorry E&J spokespeople (because I have to assume you are), but your VS has done nothing but destroy any possibility of enjoying your spirits again. You could literally have a drink that is milk from angel’s tits and as long as it has your label – I’ll pass.
What they Say: “One of the most distinctive qualities of E&J brandy is its remarkable character. This is accomplished by a vertical blending of brandies of different ages from the finest white oak barrels which we personally have selected. This expensive and time consuming aging process also develops the full and natural brandy flavor of E&J brandy.”
Taste: 4.0 – There was a few brief seconds in which I got a nice bit of sweetness with a light brandy flavor.
Aftertaste: 0.0 – (No that 0 is not a typo) Because that is without a doubt on of the worst things I have ever had the misfortune to taste. It has layers much like how Dante’s Inferno had layers, and it lingers on your tastebuds like the time you chugged expired milk.
Burn/Smooth: 1.5 – There is no way this would be going down smooth when neat, and then it has the audacity to burn your esophagus as well.
Aroma: 2.5 – I just had a 30 second coughing fit with a twinge of brandy smell – that admittedly smell wise was okay. However further whiffs also managed to bring coughing, and you lose points for causing SARS.
Honesty: 2.0 – “One of the most distinctive qualities of E&J brandy is its remarkable character.” This is true; however that character is King Joffery from Game of Thrones.
W/ Rocks: 3.0 – I mean it mellows out the aftertaste, but mostly by watering it down.
Metropolitan: 3.0 – I have had 2 Metropolitan’s in my life prior to this, and thank god those were from classy jazz bars – because if I’d been served this I would have made that stupid alcohol face in public.
Value: 2.0 – I got ripped off. Also average has with a +/- 2 dollar for the VSOP meaning you could find this more expensive than the VSOP depending on where you go.
Google Shop Average: $13
Metric Score: 15/70 |+| Metric Average: 2.14 |+| Reviewer Average: 1.5
Final Thoughts: So there you have it internet, we have reviewed the base offerings of the E&J line, and if you have comments and complaints please continue to feel free and ply our website. I’ll approve all comments not marked spam – we don’t censor. We’ll sure as shit respond though and tell you to fuck off. Because we are not here to fluff E&J’s marketing dick – we’re here for honest reviews, and honestly? I don’t even know if cooking with this is worth it.