A Journey of Justice: Part 1
Dear friends and comrades,
I, Jimmathy Jethro Justice, have just set out on a journey. I know not when I will return or how long it will be before I can sample another alcoholic beverage with you again. However, this is a journey I must undertake. I have decided to catalog my journey and send back to you my adventures, so that you may share them with the world.
I set out two days past, donning my traveling cloak and packing only the barest of essentials.
Editor’s Note: This is back from when we were on Nerdfit, I’ve reuploaded it here, first as a reminder that Wodka needs to hire a better PR guy (especially considering some of their other forays like Billboards). But also because this stands as a testament to what we when we were at Nerdfit, and what Honest Booze Reviews stands for – Brutally honest, if you’re average you’re getting a 5. We are not your friends, and we are not going to hand out 94’s just because we want companies to give us free stuff and press.
I felt the need to write this up because of the backlash against Wodka for their comments made via their Twitter. First and foremost, it was weird seeing referrals from their website, and I was totally okay with them not being huge fans of our review. My original response via facebook was “Response to getting told a review is shit by a spirit company for giving them a 6 for being slightly better than average? Knowledge that we’re doing the right thing.” and I still stand by that. We knew doing these that we weren’t making friends. At Nerdfit we stood by our reviews as being honest and most importantly – very harsh.
Which is why I don’t want our fans or those who follow Wodka to boycott their spirit over this backlash. Their vodka is actually quite nice. It’s a middle shelf vodka for a bottom shelf price, and while yes their are things in the same tier that taste better or have better deals the difference between Wodka, Skyy, Ketel One, or Three Olives is negligible. They are a great bargain buy for a 750mL (Most handle prices are just as good a deal, but that depends on your area).
I realize some feel that the wording was out of line, especially for a professional company, and whether that’s true or not I’m not fazed. If anything I’m glad they had the balls to say it. While yes we are more informal in our reviews we’re not above calling something an absolute piece of fucken bullshit swill water if that’s what we feel. Remember tone and emotion aren’t conveyed best over the internet let alone within 140 characters.
Also you have to remember where they’re coming from. Our reviewing practices make it near impossible to get over a 9 let alone a perfect 10, when we say 5 is average, and 10 is akin to orgasm – we truly follow that mindset in a review. Even if something were to get a 10 in every taste related category it could still fall short on manliness, and it’d have to be one of the best deals of all time to get a 10 in every category. An overall score of 6 is a good thing to have, and I stress this – I’d totally buy Wodka again. I live in an area called CT where liquor prices are very high and if I need an everyday vodka (and I’m not getting something to review) I’d go with Wodka because I can’t get a good deal on Three-O or Skyy.
As for this situation, yes Wodka called us out on our review, we called them out on their response – at the end of the day they still offer a cheap above average Vodka, and we still review things with an iron fist.
Cheers Mates.
He’s alive, I mean Justice is alive. He contacted us through secure channels of a dolphin echolocation protocol late last night with the single phrase “I love scotch.” I’m sure that means he’ll return shortly talking about the beauty that is scotch whisky. Until then we’re stuck reviewing a bourbon, and not one we enjoy either.
It was midnight in the big city when I decided I needed a drink. The shoe that is life started to press down upon me and I was but a mere cockroach of a human. The world was a cruel mistress and I was but a sweaty politician that had lost everything and now she was turning her back on me. I knew that the only relief for me would be sitting at the bottom of a glass somewhere out in this wretched world and so I set out to find my salvation.
Another week and we still haven’t heard from Justice, though a Cambodian Monk has told us that “He is the envy of angels on earth.” So this week we carried on and went to a farm, where there were goats, a robot, and vodka. Since this isn’t Honest Robot-Goat Reviews, let’s move on to this weeks review Wodka vodka, which comes from Poland.
