If you asked us why a noted Ghostbuster would join forces with someone to make vodka in the form of Crystal Skull – we wouldn’t have an answer for you. (Maybe because it’s spooky?) We also wouldn’t have an answer for you about why this vodka is just not good, and how starting from the visage of a skull it keeps getting worse and worse.
While we’ve certainly been familiar with other skull related spirits, this might be one of the worst. The saving grace here is a bit of creaminess to it that makes it useful in certain aspects, but everything else about it is just awful. While we’re no strangers (to love) for bad vodka, the fact that it seems like it should be so much more just digs the knife deeper into our gut.
What they Say: “ Crystal Head Vodka is a clean, clear, colorless spirit that is usually gluten free and kosher certified. The vodka is produced by distilling high-quality Canadian peaches and cream corn, grown exclusively in North America. Finish is sweet and cream”
Taste: 6.5 – True to form of embodying the aroma the actual initial taste here is quite creamy and very tasty.
Aftertaste: 3.5 – It does, however, go a bit pear-shaped (but not taste) in the end though with part of it almost feeling like it’s burnt.
Burn/Smooth: 3.0 – Because of that burnt and burning this isn’t a smooth whiskey that you can just swig straight from the skull without either a wince or an iron throat.
Aroma: 3.0 – While there’s a hint of creaminess, that certainly smells more chemical than enjoyable.
Honesty: 4.0 – Gluten free? Kosher? Your vodka is in a fucken skull. Either go metal or go the fuck home. The wanky text is also hurting it here, and aside from being a skull this just hemorrhages points.
Mixability: 6.25
Vodka Tonic: 7.5 – Credit where it is fucken due. That is a god damn delicious white Russian.
White Russian: 5.0 – It feels slightly off, and it’s overall just average and flirting with possibly being worse.
Value: 2.0 – Well we come to the true black mark here. Because while yes the bottle is unique and distinctive and costly to make, paying this much for vodka is against the natural order.
Google Shop Average: $47
Website: https://www.crystalheadvodka.com/
Reviewer Scores:
BuffaloJern: 3.0
Want to compare this spirit against our archives? Visit our statistics page.
Metric Score: 28.25/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.04 |+| Reviewer Average: 3.0
New to Honest Booze Reviews, or just wondering how we score? See our FAQ/Review Policy.
Final Thoughts: It’s safe to say that this is truly not the skull 50 Cent was looking for in his game Blood in the Sand. Nor it would seem is it the skull with delicious spirits contained within (oh we get the Ghostbusters thing now) that we sought after either. In fact, the only people who should seek this out are those who wish to overpay for a bar decoration.
