Greetings everyone. Typically these reviews as you know are conducted by the 4 main reviewers myself (BuffaloJern) DJ_LvL, Justice, and William Henri Neve the IVth. Today is different, because my father informed me that we would be drinking tequila. When I expressed my “non-forthcoming desire for Cuervo” I was then informed that it wasn’t a debate, and even if it was I would lose.
So hi everybody, and welcome to a non-traditional episode of booze reviews with Jose Cuervo Tradicional which is about as gimmicky sounding as Deliciouso. A name we know and do not favor Cuervo is a standard in the tequila world much like Smirnoff is to vodka, and we’re not pleased with either being that standard. Our standby of 1800 has served us well enough and we’re willing to shell out the extra precious dollars for our drinks; however my father got this for free, and so do I. Provided I don’t ask how he got it for free.
So my father and a man that claims to be my uncle despite no blood relations sat down for a few shots of this tequila and overall we were not very impressed. Having sampled, but not reviewed many Reposado tequilas this comparatively was lackluster.
It wasn’t awful though, there was no kick in your face Mexican backwater kerosene to this tequila, and overall their presentation was solid. Though this bottle was a gift, and to an end even freer for me none of us were terribly pleased. At least from their literature they didn’t exactly promise much only to lie horrendously.
What they say: “Rested in white oak barrels, this legendary handcrafted 100% blue agave tequila is still made with the same traditional methods that Jose Cuervo used when he first began producing tequila in 1795. The Cuervo family continues to proudly seal each bottle with the symbol of their family name.
Drink chilled straight from the freezer or in a traditional Margarita.
Este legendario tequila, heco a mano y 100% de agave azul hace homenaje al legado de los metodos tradicionales que Jose Cuervo utilize cuando empezo a proucir tequila en 1795. La Familia Cuervo continua orgullosamente sellando cada botella con el emblem familiar.”
Taste: 4.5 – There’s just not much too this, sure there is a taste, but it’s bland. It’s like a beige flavored tequila
Aftertaste: 4.83 – This is standard fair for the most part, but even here that lack of a real agave taste doesn’t come through.
Burn/Smooth: 5.83 – There’s no real burn here, but this seems to be a result of trying to make a smoother tequila only to botch it creating a mild tequila. A lack of warmness that follows sealed it’s fate of being considered “smooth”.
Aroma: 7.5 – Not sharp at all, there’s no kick to the teeth and it comes off fairly mild.
Manliness: 7.5 – It’s a nice bottling, no real wank overall. Quoted as something you’d see in an old western where they ask the bartender to leave the bottle. However it’s mildness does detract from its score as does the fake cork where in this case you’d expect it to be real.
Mixability: N/A – When asked about mixing this tequila with a lime or some OJ for a sunrise I was given some very dirty looks and told to shutup.
Value: 3.83 – It’s just not a great buy here compared to other tequila’s. It was nice that we got it for free, but in a store never would we pick it up going for more expensive things. It’s not a sticker shock price though.
Google Shop Average: $18
Mr. Andrews: 4.0
Uncle Bernie: 4.0
Metric Score: 33.99/60 |+| Metric Average: 5.665 |+| Reviewer Average: 4
It’s interesting how different those 2 scores are, but really it’s not. Sure this thing looks manly, and its smell doesn’t hurt your children. You’re losing something though and the taste is just not worth it in the end, and consequently despite its price it’s just not something we’d like to buy. As my Uncle Bernie stated, it’s subpar, but it sure as hell ain’t that shit I had in Jamaica – that was probably lighter fluid mixed with battery acid