Before we get to the Oban distillery on our Scottish tour we try a whisky with a weird cat thing on it. It also (self-described) tastes like a candle? Because who doesn’t want to eat candles? It could be worse though. You could try this on the rocks. (hey-o)

This is something that would normally be ignored as just another whisky, but now it has garnered our ire. If you ordered this on rocks at a bar you would have possibly one of the worst scotch experiences of your life.

 

What they Say: “Bottle: The distillery was founded on Scotland’s remote north-east coast by the future duke of Sutherland and the Wild Cat mark is inspired by the Sutherland coat of arms. A mile or so away the Clynemilton burn enters a rocky gorge and tumbles over several falls before its water is caught in a stone cistern and piped to the distillery.

Case: Clynelish is a delicious and distinctive Single Malt Scotch Whisky from one of Scotland’s most northerly distilleries, which is situated at Brora on the stormy north east coast.Aged for 14 years in specially selected oak casls then bottled at a full 46% abv, this is a light yet firm-bodied maritime single malt. Fresh and creamy-smooth on the palate, it has a smoky, sea-spicy character and a very pleasing texture which is highly regarded by malt whisky connoisseurs. The nose starts with light candle wax, some sugar and a faint floral fragrance. Adding a little water brings this into focus; the candle wax is now more richly scented as if, when strolling near the beach, you have come across sun-dried flowers among the sand dunes. On the spicy palate there’s a a signature oily, mustard-cress cripsness, which is underscored by some maritime saltiness in the satisfying, drying finish.”

 

Taste: 4.0 – We almost never believe the text on bottles but when they say candle wax it’s not bunk. You kind of totally understand what they mean. Mind you that’s not a good thing for a scotch so… minus points?

Aftertaste: 4.5 – It gets better, but not really by much sadly.

Burn/Smooth: 5.0 – This doesn’t really burn a lot, and it’s not harsh going down. You would never use the word smooth, silky, or buttery here though. And the warming is mild at best.

Aroma: 6.5 – It’s got that nice little sense of the sea without being salty low-tide esque like some coastal and island scotches get. It also has a sweet almost cognac like aroma to it.

Manliness: 6.5 – Again it’s rare we appreciate a good honest talk where they describe something and its not a bold faced lie. The weird cat thing is weird though, and overall the whisky doesn’t do much to make it better.

Mixability: 2.0

W/ Rocks: 2.0 – Oh god. That is somehow way way worse. Like it made what was an okay single malt into a shitty single malt

Value: 0.5 – Hahahahahahha. Hahahahahaha. Are you fucken serious. Hahahahaha. Not in a million years should anyone pay close to that.

Google Shop Average: $56

Website: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clynelish_distillery

 

Reviewer Scores:

BuffaloJern: 4.0

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Metric Score: 29/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.14 |+| Reviewer Average: 4.0

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Final Thoughts: It solely gets extra points here for being honest, as it otherwise is a downright terrible whisky. Seriously candle wax? How do you make a whisky and think – that’ll do? You then charge $56 dollars. Of money? Yes this got extra points for honesty and it still got a 4.

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