GENTLEMEN! Behold the raw awesome power of Russian Import vodka that is above the “standard” Vodka that when we few men stand in the aisles of liquor stores decide we want something better than the usual. Vodka that warms our hearts and bellies by it’s mere presence and taste. Ladies and Gentlemen, Hammer + Sickle.
Now look at Putin.
Now back to your vodka.
Now back to Putin.
Sadly your vodka is not approved by Putin, and for that your death may in fact be imminent. However your tastes and place in this world may be improved when you purchase Hammer + Sickle.
Putin on a horse
Editor’s Note: This was written back when Putin was less overtly evil and invade-y
Now we here at the Buffalo Lounge consume and use a lot of Three Olives, enough so that it really is our mascot of booze. We go through so much of it compared to anything else. However often times we feel the need to get something a little better, and since we can’t sneak into Russia anymore (We miss you Chopper Dave). We grab the best Putin has deemed America worthy of buying.
For the record this isn’t another Old Spice joke, but look at that picture (Of Hammer + Sickle, not Putin – although we guess that’s fine too). When I needed to take a picture of the bottle I felt it was cheapening to simply take another picture from our room. I felt the thing needed to be taken where it belongs, closer to it’s natural habitat as it were. Looking at it can you blame me? Everything from the shape to the frosted bottle to the simple color and logo of the communist regime breathes manliness into vodka. No longer is it the domain of fruity pineapple and cranberry drinks splashed with Smirnoff.
What they say: Born of cold Russian winters, the wheat of Hammer + Sickle is hand cleared in the Black Earth region then dry shipped to the distillery where masters of the craft distill and filter Hammer + Sickle 6 times, transforming the harvest into a smooth, ultra luxurious vodka worthy of its Russian heritage. Please enjoy responsibly. (They felt no need to point out how the founders rode bears to work everyday because who doesn’t know that?)
Taste: 8 – Much like vodka should be there was no real taste at all, only Justice dedicated a hint of cream going down.
Aftertaste: 7.3 – Bit of ethanol aftertaste, it’s muted by still present.
Burn/Smooth: 4.4 – This burns a good deal. It reminds you that there is still vodka in here.
Aroma: 7.5 – Really have to get into it, get really close before you can even smell it. Even then it’s only a little bit of paint thinner smell with what we assume is Oak in the background.
Honesty: 8.4 – It’s called Hammer and Sickle and it’s frosted glass but with white red color scheme. Standard wankery on the back but the phrase. “Borne of cold Russian winters.” is amazing. It’s distilled 6 times. We tried letting our guest “The Sweatta Vest” pose for this like he did with “Effen Vodka” which resulted only in fear of Putin.
Voddy (Vodka Tonic): 8.75 – Like it a lot, little bit of taste, aftertaste kicks in and you know it’s vodka
Russian: 8 – Really good.
Screwdriver: 8.8 – Really good. Justice approves.
Value: 6.7 – Pretty fair, good enough that I’d consider it if it was more expensive, still quite right for price.
Google Shop Average: $30
William Henri Neve the IV: 8
The Sweatta Vest: 7.5
DJ Lvl: 7.5
Metric Overall: 50.81/70 Metric Average: 7.25 Reviewer Average: 7.8
Damn good vodka, mixes well, and is fine drinking straight. One day Putin caught himself in the mirror and was flushed with tears they bottled it, it is known as Hammer + Sickle. If you have the money, and you can find it you might just be able to drink, Hammer + Sickle.