Eagle-eyed readers will have noted I mentioned this being the ‘scotch’ of Cuervo’s a few weeks back. I would like to now publicly apologize for that statement as I now realize it was said during St Patrick’s day, and told to me secondhand. Now while we commonly here mix Mexican and Irish themes it would appear mixing whisky with tequila isn’t the best of ideas.
Now we’re big fans of whiskey here, and as you may have noticed we’re not particularly keen on tequila. So if you had told us prior to tasting this at our panel that it was a tequila, but like a whiskey – we would have signed the form in triplicate.
To be fair I’d hope that one day someone could make that connection work, because Cuervo fails on both ends in making a tequila or a whiskey. It’s like a half-assed effort, and to be fair is just non-drinkable. At the end of the day it’s not smoky or distinctive as a whiskey, and not powerful or enjoyable as a tequila.
Taste: 3.13 – It tastes like they tried to age a tequila, a noble effort but poor execution.
Aftertaste: 2.75 – You would think this to at least leave a nice smoky aftertaste, but now it’s bitter and harsh.
Burn/Smooth: 7.13 – Sure this doesn’t burn compared to other tequilas, but then if I had swampwater and called it tequila it wouldn’t burn either.
Aroma: 4.17 – It’s odd, but it smells like a below average tequila.
Manliness: 6.25 – It’s awful, but the bottling, labeling, and name invoke manliness – normally this shouldn’t be affected by the other categories as much, but if I see someone drinking this I don’t think they’re manly, I think they’re retarded.
Mixability: N/A – Sadly we didn’t bring mixers to the panel
Value: 2.5 – This is awful value, to be honest I’m not even sure how it got this high – I think we rated value based on other Cuervo’s
Google Shop Average: $25
William Henri Neve the IV: 4
King Weeb: 4.5
Metric Score: 26.92/60 |+| Metric Average: 4.49 |+| Reviewer Average: 3.6
This is a botch, a failed experiment. If I was distilling I would take a sip of this, write it off as unworthy to sell and move on. Kudos to Cuervo for going the extra mile to try and market this as really good, and be awful in return.