It’s been a while since I checked in with a Cuervo, and I’m glad that I did. It’s always good to remind myself why the hell I check myself out, because Cuervo is just awful tequila to drink. Make no mistake it’s not worse than tequila which is bland and terrible – but goddamn does the word pain come up a lot in my thoughts and review.
I’m not trying to be outright mean throwing shade like that – but goddamn you have to know that when the scores below start cranking out two’s and three’s – well it makes it hard to write myself a little paragraph that isn’t an audio clip of me gagging hoping I can hide this abomination with enough lemon juice and limes.
What they Say: “Made with blue agave. A family company for ten generations. Beginning in Tequila, Mexico: Over 200 years ago Jose Antonio de Cuervo acquired a parcel of land in Tequila, Mexico in order to cultivate and harvest the blue agave plant. With its rich, volcanic soil, abundant pure spring water and temperate climate, the family built a distillery for transforming their highest quality blue agave into a fine spirit. Today, La Rojena, the family’s distillery, sits on that same land as the oldest active distillery in Latin America. Experience the smoothness of Jose Cuervo Silver as a chilled shot or in a classic tequila cocktail, like the Paloma.”
Taste: 2.5 – That is downright awful, and to be honest I really wasn’t sure what I was expecting.
Aftertaste: 2.0 – The good news here is that it becomes completely awful, and somehow is worse that it’s original taste.
Burn/Smooth: 3.0 – It burns, and it does not go down smooth at all.
Aroma: 3.5 – Bland until you get into it, and then it becomes horrible.
Manliness: 3.0 – No one would truly enjoy this as a shot, and this is really the poster child of girly tequila used in summer margarita’s. Not that it’s a bad thing, but this is not a manly tequila.
Salt & lime: 3.0 – I not enjoy that shot. Oh sure there was lime, but the salt only accentuated the terrible tequila.
Sunrise: 5.0 – It’s a good sunrise.
Value: 2.0 – This could be half the price and I would still call it bad value.
Google Shop Average: $20
Metric Score: 20/70 |+| Metric Average: 2.86 |+| Reviewer Average: 2.0
Final Thoughts: I bought this because I had been buying all of the other silver tequila’s at my local liquor store, and I have been avoiding this. But it’s summer, and I have some silly obligation to continue to try things that are not put on this site. So hear we stand, I am not happy, I’m sure Jose is not happy with this review – my only hope is that by reading this you do not buy this, and maybe then you will be happy.