Odelay, mi raza! We here at Booze Reviews have again gone to the Mexican well and when we pulled the proverbial bucket up it was filled with tequila! This is the third of our silver tequila standoff (of course it is a Mexican standoff) and this one is packing heat! In the words of a man I never knew that got drunk off a small amount of this stuff we reviewed.
Yes, we went high shelf and high publicity for how well people know this one and we hoped it would make it well worth our dollar. As we normally do, we sit around in our apartment and drink manly drinks while speaking manly words and generally being pretty manly with our demeanor. We are in no way snarky with our comments; we are just extremely honest and usually in anecdotal or metaphor form. Yet, this time we tried something we have ever done before! We had women sit in for Booze Reviews. Yes, in an article that usually promotes manliness we decided to bring in some women to promote some different thinking perhaps and maybe find out just a thing or two of what women find manly themselves.
Well, being an expert on manliness (I mean my name IS William Henri Neve IV which is inherently manly in my mind) I felt that having women around was a good idea. {INSERT SEXIST JOKE HERE}.
Well, no matter who we have on our panel we will always bring honest reviews about booze to you with varying responses as far as who is reviewing. Also, following tradition with our radio show whenever DJ_LvL does not participate in things, no matter the reason, I always have to say: “Lee is a douche-nozzle.” So, without further ado: Lee is a douche-nozzle. Let’s start this up!
Taste: 8.2 – Ah a very nice taste (reminded me of cheap labor from Mexico). It was not strong on the agave and it was sweet. One reviewer skeptical of tequila said: “It did not make me want to kill myself!”
Aftertaste: 6 – This was hit or miss on people’s palates. Some felt it lingered too long where others said it left a wonderful taste they enjoyed. Overall, it averaged to be not too bad really. Just know that it can disappoint.
Burn/Smooth: 7.58 – The beginning burn was a bit harsh but nothing we are not used to. Had a nice finish going down and did not make our throats feel like fire was streaming down.
Aroma: 7.5 – Ah the aroma was sweet but had a bit of harshness when sniffed a little too long. Not the best we have experienced but pleasant none the less.
Honesty: 7.75 – Well, as we all pondered it not having anything on the box it came in or on the bottle as far as description goes we realized that even if the bottle had hits and misses (a cork giving points and the word Patron written on everything losing points) we realized it was promoted by Lil’ John and T-Pain making it inherently awesome whether or not you like their style of music. Anyone willing to get that into a kind of character and act as a parody of himself or herself is someone that has balls and tells people to make fun of them because they don’t care. This gave it points up from neutrality giving the score it got.
Mixability: 7.965
Tequila and Lime: 8.1 – This tequila was made for salt, tequila and lime in that order with a shot of tequila. Any nasty aftertaste was killed by the lime making it have an amazing finish. So, as one reviewer said: “This was made for taking shots and getting pregnant.”
Tequila Sunrise: 7.83 – The tequila sunrise was good but nowhere close to the best.
Value: 4.1 – This is good tequila but for that price I would rather buy a cheap scotch, personally. Better yet, I could buy Milagro and salt and limes and save like $6-8! Much better deal. Just doesn’t give that extra everything to be worth an average of $40.
Google Shop Average: $40
Website: http://patronspirits.com/
Head of Booze Reviews Note: Before we go into reviewer scores I’d like to bring up the notion of the different people who participate in Booze Reviews. Now myself (BuffaloJern), William Henri Neve the IV, Justice, and DJ_Lvl are the four “core” reviewers, and have been in each review since it’s creation (with some noted exceptions). One of our newest reoccuring members Swetta Vest has joined on with us, and we expect him to participate in later reviews as well (he’s the new guy). Much like our radio show we are always open to guests and more opinions on topics/alcohol. So in short if you see some names you don’t recognize browsing through reviews remain calm. While we do average metrics they don’t vary greatly, and as always there are the reviewer scores.
Reviewer Scores:
Panda: 7
William Henri Neve the IV: 8
Justice: 7.5
BuffaloJern: 6.5
Swetta Vest: 7.5
Spraying Mantis: 8.5
Want to compare this spirit against our archives? Visit our statistics page.
Metric Score: 49.095/70 |+| Metric Average: 7.01 |+| Reviewer Average: 7.5
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Final Thoughts:
A difference of half a point is about average for what we have score wise in Booze Reviews. This tequila will give you good taste and it will offer a bottle you do not mind displaying but it is simply a status symbol for many people. If you are looking to be the life of a party and carry a bottle around then don’t use this because Lil’ John and T-Pain have that covered and you cannot outdo them. So, barring the showing off thing, this is a good tequila but it is overhyped and overrated. It loses so much in aftertaste and value that it will leave a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your wallet.
Since we have done three tequilas we can make these suggestions from them: 1) If you need something you can display and that is cheaper then go for a 750 mL of 1800. 2) If you need something to make mixed drinks and perhaps to just sip or do shots normally then Milagro is the way to go. 3) If you want to get someone pregnant, wear shades with big jewels on them, yell a lot and do shots shots shots shots shots shots (with salt and lime mind you) then go for Paaaaatrooooooonnnnnn!
It has been written, so it must be. Science has proven it.