Stop. Have you read Justice’s review of the XO E&J Brandy? If not then you should as this one is going to be kind of a continuation. I will give you time to do it now. Read it here. I am waiting…go read it. Done? Read it? Know a little more about brandies? Understand still that these reviews are done by the man called Justice, BuffaloJern, DJ_LvL and me, with my body booze free for the first time in a long time as I am trying to get fit, William Henri Neve IV? Good. Now that you know that and read about a mediocre to bad brandy…let me talk and walk you through an atrocious brandy.
To reiterate, for those that were too lazy to read the other review first, the tiers of brandy are V.S. (Very Special), V.S.O.P. (Very Special Old Pale), and X.O. (Extra Old). There are other tiers that go above that, but those tiers differ between distillers; whereas these 3 are standardized. These tiers tell how aged the brandy is: going from 2 years to 4 years to 6-20 years respectively between the three tiers above. So, by these standards, XO should be the best and VSOP should be the next best. Let us just say that is true…if that is so…I will NEVER try VS. NEVER. Where XO had redeeming qualities…VSOP, as you will see, could not redeem itself from the pit it ends up digging itself into.
But that is just what I say…what do you have to say brandy?
What they say: “Fine brandy. Original rare blend. Mellowed in aged oak. Barrel select. Pressed from fine varietal grapes, E&J VSOP is distilled to concentrate the most desirable flavors. VSOP is charcoal filtered to create a most rich, rare and remarkable brandy, and mellowed in selected American White Oak casks to highlight the delicate grape flavors. The E&J VSOP brandy master chooses only the smoothest and richest flavored of these special casks for this blend. The result is an exceptionally smooth, complex, and aromatic brandy. Experience the excellence of E&J VSOP. Alc. 40% by vol. 80 Proof.”
In my opinion everything they said up there was a lie, and should be construed as false advertising. This brandy fills me with hate. Sure it could be more that I spent money on it and stuff, but that would be me being bitter (note: I am bitter). Know what else is bitter? This brandy! HIYOO! Oh wait…no…it is just fucking terrible. Do you want to know why? Then read below, and if you work at E&J…I right now am going to ask for my money back. On top of that I challenge you to drink your brandy, and like it. I dare you to say – to our faces, what is good about your brandy. But I digress, and I will stop there before I challenge the president of E&J to a boxing match. Here are the scores. And it deserved every one of them.
Taste: 2.58 – When I took a sip I thought we got a bad batch of brandy…which is VERY POSSIBLE still as it was god awful. Again if you are from E&J and disagree then send me a brand new bottle of THIS brandy for free, and if it is different from what it was (but is still proven to be the same 4 year aged brandy) I will pay you double for the bottle. But I doubt that will happen since this cough syrup like awful taste is a disgrace to all brandies. This really doesn’t have a nice taste; it’s not offensive but it’s also bland and disappointing. Tastes like grape robitussin mixed in to make grape drank.
Aftertaste: 4.25 – The aftertaste actually has flavor, and it’s not bad, but not good either. Not well liked. Not much else to say.
Burn/Smooth: 2 – There is quite a surprising amount of burn for something called extra smooth. This is like heartburn and now I need an antacid. With the flavor and burn combined I cried…
Aroma: 1 – Bit of offensive…much like ethanol. Much like someone took a tiny bit Brandy and put it in a glass and then added a lot of ethanol…a lot of ethanol. Ow…my frontal lobe.
Honesty: 1.5 – See, the bottle looks ok…but then we looked it up and found this little tidbit: from the makers of Barefoot wine. Barefoot wine is pretty much the poor woman’s last resort for wine. It is god awful and it is something that is so off-putting that it does not deserve to be in our review. Also… THERE IS SO MUCH WANK ON THE BOTTLE AND NONE OF IT FITS. That is ALWAYS a negative to being a man when you say something you cannot back up. The only reason this got points was that we like the bottle, cork and coloring is nice. However the off-center sticker on our bottle portrays how much this isn’t professional or well made at all.
Mixability: 5.05
Sidecar: 5.5 – More tart. Less sweet/fruit taste.
Brantini: 3.58 – Not a fan, but most of us felt it tasted like a standard martini.
Brandy Sour: 6.08 – Tastes kind of like grapefruit. Not bad. Nice and tart, and in this case a sour is meant to do that.
Value: 2.92 – No. Don’t care how low the price is. No.
Google Shop Average: $12
Website: http://www.ejbrandy.com/
Reviewer Scores:
William Henri Neve the IV: 2.5
Justice: 2.5
BuffaloJern: 2.5
DJ_Lvl: 2.5
The Bear: 2.5
Huanlai: 1 (Note Huanlai is the one among us most experienced with Brandies/Cognac)
Want to compare this spirit against our archives? Visit our statistics page.
Metric Score: 19.3/70 |+| Metric Average: 2.75 |+| Reviewer Average: 2.25
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Final Thoughts:
“Gross, very unappealing on its own.” “Should make a good cooking wine.” “When a liquor scores lower than Gordon’s you know you have a problem.”
My comrades said that stuff above, and I can tell you it makes a fairly good cooking wine…but it cost me 12 bucks…that is not ok. This is just an unacceptable thing to have in existence. I would suggest never buying this…but if you want to prove us wrong then I will gladly welcome you to do so as we could very legitimately gotten a bad batch…but I doubt it…and I regret nothing we have said here. This is an awful brandy and E&J should be ashamed that they even put this out on a shelf. Do not buy this unless you hate yourself. This is so bad that if you gave this to a wino lying on the street…he would spit at you and give you Hepatitis-B. That is right…this brandy could possibly give you Hepatitis-B (Note: this is a rage corner and is not meant to be slander…just a funny way to express our opinions).
Editor’s Note: This is literally the worst thing we’ve reviewed so far, and while William’s comments are bitter we are serious. If you’ve had this brandy, and you thought it was much better than this, and that we’ve gotten a bad batch – send it to us, and we’ll re-review it. Otherwise the score stands. Normally with our methods we gamble on things we get, and are genuinely surprised with what we end up with. On the other side we get this though – swill water. This is so bad it was the worst of more than seven categories in our award show, and was voted our Most Hated.
It has been written, so it must be. Science has proven it.
I just bought this wine and read mixed reviews on it (bought it for cooking) and sipped a little bit of it and it was the most God-awful thing I’ve ever placed in my mouth. It burned and tasted like shit. I’m just going to cook with it do everything to avoid drinking this until I become super desperate. blergh.
*not wine, brandy I meant
Yeah, and even for a cooking brandy it’s not great.
I have a twenty-two year old bottle of E&J VSOP Brandy Superior Very Special Old Pale 80 proof ALC40 VOL 750ML. My question is, if I decided to sale it what would it be worth?
Nothing u moron, you leave a 12 YO whiskey in your bar unopned for 25 years, it doesnt change a damn thing, some wined age with thine but brandy once uts out if the barrel it doesn’t change taste, can’t believe how many retards are actually buying bottles to put the aside for later….stop people!
Exactly there are 4 reasons something will change over time in a bottle.
1. It’s a wine, and therefore fermentation is still going on slightly. The conditions of the bottle can also influence this process, and not all wines improve with age.
2. Beers (especially) Dry-hopped or wild ales usually have more fermentation going on in the bottle. However not all beers should age (hoppy pales are usually best fresh) and it often is best to pay attention if there is a consume by date on the beer itself as such info comes from the brewery.
3. Sun-damaged bottles. While often most spirits will be fine – leaving fermented beverages, but also distilled beverages in the sun has the potential to alter because the sun provides energy to the chemicals in the spirit (this usually just would cause evaporation) which can change your spirit. UV rays also affect this, so be wary of your bar lighting if something is ‘likely to stick around.’
4. Finally the last is uncommon – but if you have a homemade kit for aging spirits in something like a barrel – it obviously will change over time.
Fermentation does not occur after bottling, except for certain beers and champagnes, or ciders that are carbonated this way.. As fermentation generates CO2 and ethanol, what you’ve described, would carbonate the liquids and eventually cause the bottles to explode.
You fucking people are fucking stupid this is good Brandy excellent okay they did a good job and Manufacturing it you’re just a fucking moron and you have no business reviewing Brandy
This reviewer doesn’t know shit about good Brandy let me break it down for you first this Brandy has a flavor of maple / vanilla which is very delightful where he got the impression that tastes like grape cough syrup is behind me I’m not sure he was drinking the same the same Brandi I am in addition the thing that makes a good drink is the burn and the flavor now he’s complaining about the burn might want to try Paul Masson brandy which taste does taste like cough syrup how the hell can you sit there and say you complaining about the burn when that which makes Brandy good in addition to its flavor it sounds like you want a drink cough syrup no serious real season booze Drinker would ever mix their booze I don’t care what kind it is if you don’t start talking about mix ability all his credibility just went out the window he doesn’t know shit about enjoying good booze this is excellent Brandy and I think that the reviewer should not try to drink with the big boys and maybe actually go back to trying to drink actual cough syrup like he did when he was in his teens buy a bottle of $100 booze and mix it with anything and you have a glass full of shit this person is an amateur and his review should be totally discarded excuse me I’m on my way to the liquor store to buy a bottle of E&J VSOP Superior Reserve
…Right. So to recap my responses with breathes between them.
A. Yeah it was the same stuff
B. Burn is not good – power or heat, or a warming sensation are good.
C. My cough syrup is whiskey
D. We mix everything.
E. I actually never drink while underage (although I did visit the UK before age 21)
F. We have nothing against brands, we just want stuff to be good. We’ve had brandies and cognacs before and this is not good.
Anyone who thinks this is a good brandy must be at some stage of wet brain, probably advanced, as evidenced by the comments left by that self described “advanced drinker” above Buffalo.
I couldn’t agree more. I should have bought the Black Velvet like I was going to smh
This review was quite harsh, if not biased, like a Rachel Maddow review of Donald Trump. The VSOP is actually quite good, much better than the VS, smoother and richer than masson, or Albertsons generic.
I usually drink Cognac, but its pricey over here in the US. And, I would say that the E&Y VSOP is nothing near a nice bottle of Georgian or Armenian brandy (Konyak), but the price performance is good.
This isn’t Cognac, or Armenac, but its a good brandy, with, as another reviewer noted, hints of vanilla.
I have this and I’m a stew bum. I’d rather drink squeeze.
Only whiskey I will drink #love
You all must be rich bastard’s.AND BUY 100$ BOTTELS .WE LIKE EJS .AND CEO WOULD KNOK KOA YOUR ASS OUT.ASS HOLE
I just got a bottle yesterday and was blown away at how good it was! Vanilla notes, warmth, flavor…. 😂 I couldn’t believe what I was reading here. You got a bad batch or I need a recommendation!!!
E&J vsop is actually my preferred drink. I mix it with cola, and drink it straight sometimes. Sorry, but your just way off on this one. Maybe your tastebuds are afflicted with some form of retardation..??
This review seems to be from one who believes a decent brandy should swallow like scotch or bourbon…NOT. I mix my VSOP with sweet vermouth, bitters and hint of fermented cherry juice. It makes a wonderfully proper Manhattan. Cheers y’all
I’m still waiting for the recommendations 😆. I’ve tried a lot of store bought brandies and they all taste like cough syrup for the most part. VSOP e&j is the best Brandy I’ve found that doesn’t taste like sugar water. I’m fearful of spending $80 on fancier brands because I don’t want to waste my money. If there’s no reply with recommendations I’m just going to assume they’re full of it