Hello and once again. So for those who know Booze Reviews you may know that we don’t give a fuck about other reviewers with their A-B-C grading and any time a “reviewing company” leaves a little note in your liquor store saying something is a 90 and it’s not locked away in a cabinet guarded by hellbeasts we weep. Though not in an unmanly way, because we weep scotch, and then we drink that scotch. Which is why next week we’ll be doing Booze Reviews Live at Nauticon. And you want to know the funny thing – we don’t even know what were doing. Which can only mean one thing – that awesome is gonna happen. So if you’re in the New England Area head over and do that – because it’s a con that has spirits tastings – and anime. Which coincidentally is what I do with my life.
Aha and you though we’d do nothing to honor Cinco de Mayo – No my friends we just wanted to drink it on the day of – as you should. This led to a tequila-induced podcast, but that’s good for everyone.
Now if you’re a regular of booze reviews here you know that we’re not big on tequila – except for when we get into one of our Irish-Mexican moods (which oddly go together.) In fact the last tequila we reviewed was month’s ago and it too was Cuervo – albeit the Tradicional. It’s odd though because while that was bland – this is closer to the tequila taste you expect, and yet it’s also close to the tequila bad you’re told about by your friends when you wake up on a boat in the middle of Beaver’s Pond.
I wish we had a review of the Jose Cuervo Black, because as the best way to describe it – it is the scotch tier of tequilas, and sadly it was consumed, and not reviewed during St Patrick’s Day – again we’re not sure why we combine Irish and Mexican. Comparatively this is foul-tasting, and worst of all unmanly, as their literature clearly defines.
What they say: “Jose Cuervo: The perfect Cuervo margarita, mix 1 part Cuervo gold tequila with 3 parts Jose Cuervo margarita mix. Enjoy over ice or whipped in a blender. Perfect!”
A margarita mix, gentlemen when was the last time you got together as friends and said – hey bust out the margaritas? Because unless when I say friends you take that to mean a dozen female russian strippers than that is contending for the unmanliest thing ever.
Taste: 4.33 – There’s really like a weak initial taste like a watered down tequila
Aftertaste: 2.83 – That is not a great smell. William did the shaky head Bill Cosby face.
Burn/Smooth: 5.5– Doesn’t really go down smooth, but it doesn’t burn that bad. Just don’t burp it up.
Aroma: 5– Hey guys I think we’re going to be drinking tequila. I mean it’s not great, but it doesn’t destroy my frontal lobe so yeah average.
Honesty: 3.33 – The bottle and the look give it a fair amount of point, but the fact that they go about how to make a margarita takes away so much more.
Mixability: 5.75
Salt & lime: 6.5 – It has a nice warmness and it certainly improves it, but not much.
Sunrise: 5 – It tastes like a tequila sunrise with Cuervo in it.
Value: 4.17 – It is 8 bucks lower than 1800, but more than 10 bucks worse
Google Shop Average: $18
Website: http://www.cuervo.com/
Reviewer Scores:
William Henri Neve the IV: 4.0
Justice: 4.5
BuffaloJern: 4.0
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Metric Score: 30.92/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.42 |+| Reviewer Average: 4.17
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Final Thoughts:
There are a lot of bits below average and some above average. It’s just below average tequila, if you really want some – get some others. Just go with Jose Cuervo Black.
