In keeping with the “Old Timey Wimey” theme from last week we’ve reviewed another bourbon. We had planned to have an Old Crow review this one since we got ol’ granddad Buffalo to review last weeks, but apparently crows just squawk and shout anti-semitic statements. Who knew? So this week it’s back to a regular reviewer more commonly known as BuffaloJern.
Although irregularly it’s only me – again – it would appear that my cohorts have decided to take this spot of warm weather as a sign to go on vacation. Normally I would enjoy the chance to go with them, but I’m very much unable to take a week-long vacation with my company yet. It’s fine though because it means I got to sit down with a nice bourbon – some Cajun fried chicken – and all of my teeth (Never go full Kentucky – he says having been to Kentucky, multiple times)
Sadly though while last week’s bourbon wasn’t the best we’ve had, it did earn itself a 6.5-7 which in our book is pretty damn good. This though? Suffice to say it has a single redeeming quality – it kicks like a mule. This is cheap bourbon and overall is not very good. My purchase depended on getting a bourbon with old in the name, and I’m not entirely pleased with the result.
Although I do actually enjoy that mule kick – what can I say yes most of the time I like a bourbon that’s got smoke and power, but is smooth and smells like happiness, but occasionally I want something that screams bad-bourbon, something that sipping can even make my face grimace a little, sometimes I want something to remind me that while I drink like a classy motherfucker, I can drink with the worst of em too.
What they say: “The Original Sour Mash –Since 1835– When Dr. James Crow invented the sour mash process in 1835, he revolutionized Kentucky bourbon-making. Old Crow soon became the world’s best selling bourbon. Through the years, Old Crow has often been imitated, but never duplicated. Enjoy the true original!
Aged for a full 3 years in new, charred white oak barrels.”
Taste: 3.5 – Now I’m fine with things being sour, but then again that’s usually when I enjoy a whiskey sour which includes lemon juice, I don’t think you’d need that here as it’s quite bitter.
Aftertaste: 4.0 – And it mostly just keeps getting worse, any sense of smoke that flares up here is quickly doused by bitterness.
Burn/Smooth: 3.5 – This bourbon kicks especially on the first sip, but even after it reminds you that it’s a bourbon, and the bitterness only seems to detract from making this go down smooth.
Aroma: 4.5 – I hate to harp but you can smell it, and it smells like it tastes. Not entirely pleasant, although not as awful.
Manliness: 8.5 – I’m sorry but when the first line read “Dr James Crow” this couldn’t help but be manly. The iconography of a crow and the barreling added with the labeling that just seems old-timey just makes this great. The only detractor of points here is that A. The bottle itself is standard fare. B. While it’s not a shitty metal cap, it’s not corked. And C. when I hear imitated, but never duplicated – I mentally add more duplicated’s because Robin Williams’ voice lives in my head.
Whiskey Sour: 6.0 – Now I made sure to add a little less lemon juice than the standard 3:2:1 Whiskey : Lemon Juice : Simple Syrup ratio to compensate for the bitterness of the whiskey, and I’m glad I did, because any more and this would have been too sour. Overall though it’s not bad – not the best I’ve had, but not bad.
Value: 4.0 – At that price it sets itself up for a great value, but due to the lackluster nature of the drink it falls short. Now granted at that price range if Ezra is available I’d buy that – but since that’s a more secretive drink, I could still buy this. If I needed a dirt cheap bourbon for some reason I’d be okay with this – but not pleased.
Google Shop Average: $11
Metric Score: 34.25/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.89
This really is just a sub-par bourbon, and that’s all I have to say – it’s scores are really only redeemed by manliness, and the fact that every time I think of “old crow” I think of being on the night’s watch drinking bad bourbon and wishing it wasn’t so damn cold. Wait how is that a good thing. Man crows suck.