Whasssssssssup? Now seriously people on this limited edition internet, what is in fact going on? Not that I really care though feel free to comment with your responses because I’m merely segwaying into my point which is my feelings on 42 Below Vodka. Which wishes it got 42 points on our scale.
Now dammit I’ve gone and done the Justice thing where I make it painfully obvious whether or not something is good before the jump. Though to be fair this vodka is in a way painful for us so deal with it. OH RIGHT. In case you’ve neglected to notice I am the Buffalo (Not Jern), and while this comes to you in the future it is present time in Buffalo. (Not the City, though maybe.) What does this mean?
It means I’m not going to be nice here. I could try and say that 42 Below Vodka isn’t bad for coming from New Zealand, or that it mixes well enough to not discount it in a taste test or bar, but let’s face it. This scored worse than Effen our most hated (and oddly most viewed) vodka. How they think they can get away with their flowery words and twenty buck price point baffles me.
IT BAFFLES ME. SERIOUSLY YOU CAN GET SKYY WHICH IS BETTER FOR THE SAME PRICE AND IS MORE WELL KNOWN. Honestly if you buy this you buy it for one and only one reason, because it’s from New Zealand. So because of your LotR dvd’s you remember such a place exists you get to be curious about the spirit they produce.
Let me solve said curiosity. NO. Just No. Please No. We mention with the Wodka response that we weren’t going to make friends with companies because of the harshness of our reviews. Honestly I’d be fine to start a war with New Zealand Vodka makers, because I’d carpet bomb the shit out of them.
Hartford, CT too for Popov, but that’s a different story. Speaking of stories, more importantly fiction here’s what they have to say.
What they say: “Clouds build as they travel thousands of miles across the Southern Ocean and gather around the land mass of New Zealand which the Moari call Aotearoa – “Land of the Long White Cloud’.
Over hundreds of years water from these clouds filters through the mountainous ranges that form the backbone of New Zealand and flows beneath an extinct volcanic area to one of the region’s coveted deep water springs.
It is this Aa rated water that is used to produce the vodka named after the 42nd parallel dividing our two islands. 42 BELOW.”
Aa rated water? (Note: We kept the capitalization.) What is this bullshit, oh wait it’s just that. BULLSHIT.
Taste: 4 – No creamy taste that you can get with some vodka’s in-fact it’s watery, and no not like we feel it is reminiscent of water like pure Russian vodka would be, more just an off taste watered down. It reminds us of Effen, which isn’t really a complement.
Aftertaste: 3.21 – Less than stellar aftertaste.
Burn/Smooth: 4.5 – Doesn’t burn that much.
Aroma: 4.92 – Middle of the road smell here, it’s not a nice smell and it’s very medicinal.
Manliness: 2.29 – Really wanky as for text and the bottle seems to be fighting between and nice clean look, and hipster eurotrash. You get the feeling that this isn’t just a “oh this vodka comes from New Zealand, it’s not half bad” it’s more a “It’s New Zealand vodka, that’s hip I’ve heard of that place before.”
White Russian: 5.33 – It’s good, but I’ve had better. Let it be said this thing is manageable because it makes a decent Russian, as for buying it with this intent you can do better.
Screwdriver: 5.14 – Mediocre.
Value: 4.07 – Really not the best in terms of value. Three O, and Skyy are the same price here, and they taste better.
Google Shop Average: $18
William Henri Neve the IV: 3
Mr. Hentai: 3.5
The Bear: 4
Metric Score: 28.23/70 |+| Metric Average: 4.03 |+| Reviewer Average: 3.64
Really just over priced not that great tasting. It’s only redeeming quality is it makes a decent Russian. Gets worse as you drink it oddly enough. Honestly the last time I had to de-recommend something for all reasons was the awful E&J Brandy, but yeah this is something you should avoid. If we are any help to mankind it should be that you have read this, gone to a package store, seen 42 Below, and gone, nah man that sucks and get something else. If this happens we have not only done our job we have saved you from a life of
crime bad vodka.
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